thoughts on being 40…

 

1. 40 isn’t old.
2. At least it’s not as old as I once thought it was.
3. But having to check the age range box that starts with 40 kind of stinks.
4. So is having to scroll through the 2000’s and down to 1970. 
5. There are only a few gray hairs on my head.
6. That I can see.
7. I’m not wearing readers.
8. Yet.
9. My body still works and is on it’s way to working better since I’m taking better care of it. 
10. I am married to a wonderful, godly man and after spending almost half my life with him we have a great marriage.
11. It’s not perfect, but we are always growing and changing and striving to make it what God wants it to be.
12. I have three beautiful, sweet, smart, daughters who make being a mom a pure joy and blessing.
13. And maybe they are the source of a few of those gray hairs…
14. Much of who I am today I owe to my parents.
15. I have a mom who protected me and nurtured me and taught me how to love… and a dad who has loved me selflessly and sacrificially. 
16. My mother knows I’m really 39… because she knows if she admits I’m 40, then she has to admit she has a kid who is… 4-OH.
17. I married into a loving, supportive family.
18. And I have the title of “favorite daughter-in-law.” 
19. Okay, I’m the ONLY daughter-in-law.  But still.  My title is my title and you can’t take that away from me.
20. Being 40 means that my sister and I are not BOTH still in our 30’s.
21. But today we are closer than ever and I count that as a giant, 40-sized blessing.
22. Friends.  How did I get so lucky? 
23. You know who you are… some of you are near some of you are far.
24. Some I have known more than half my life… and some for a few years. 
25. Many of you are like sisters… we are connected at the heart.  And that is a blessing I don’t take for granted.
26. I’m changing and gaining perspective on many things…
27. Like how to treat my husband and how to love my kids better.
28. And what is really important.
29. I’m not as hard on myself as I used to be.
30. But I still don’t like change.
31. Or conflict.
32. Or pickle relish.
33. Fear is not something I live under any more.  Do I struggle?  Yes.  Does it control me?  No.
34. Living my faith for so long has taught me to trust… so worry is not as big a part of my life as it once was either.
35. I’m still struggling to be content. 
36. But finding joy in the little things, a smile, a hug, a clean sink, lunch with a friend, a good movie, all remind me to be content.
37. My life is good.
38. I wouldn’t trade it for anything.
39. Nothing.
40. Except maybe to stay 39.